Two Sunflowers, drawing by Daria

Parenting enlightened and better understood

Often in my life, I have to confess, I blamed my parents for certain challenges I was facing, for virtues I haven't learned from them, for things I haven't mastered because they had not taught me... Blame did not improve the quality of my life in any way and I feel really blessed to finally understand (and apply more often!) the following:

  • ​Pointing fingers has no benefits for anyone involved. Instead, it dragged me down - every time, into a downward spiral of minding other people's business instead of my own.
  • All the people that came to play with me during this life time are teachers. Some are pleasant and fun and kind, others are mirroring my own bad feeling thoughts, emotions, fears and worries. No wonder I prefer to stay away from those - thoughts and people!
  • When someone has a great skill that appeals to me, it's worth learning from that person till I master it myself - and then further improve and adapt it to my own unique need or situation.
  • No parents can teach their children everything. They are in the process of learning and growing themselves.
  • Last but not least, how could I ever blame my parents for anything after I chose them myself and knew in advance what kind of challenges I'd be facing during this lifetime?
  • There are only three kinds of lessons every parent has to offer to their offspring: 
    1. Those that don't even apply to a child's life.
    2. Those that one wants to copy because they appear to be very wise or beneficial.
    3. Those that I choose to change or improve because they don't serve me at all.

In conclusion I have to say that my parents were really great. They gave me the best wisdom and example I could ever get from anyone: they were Daring! They dared to be themselves and different in an environment that hadn't been really supporting or kind to "greenhorns." And on top of that, they never advised me to "try to fit in..." And for that alone I feel eternally thankful!

Leave a Comment:

Ruth says

Daria, You hit it on the head. Just like it is.. I believe that god or the universe sends both good and bad. People don’t realize they are doing what was agreed to before they arrived here. So really, people are loved no matter what they do. and there are no good or bad choices. We will do better if we make one choice over another, but that does not make it the right or wrong choice. I don’t even understand it, but It is all about how we handle the situation.
Just my thoughts, and I have been to hell and back. And I might add…more than once!

    Daria says

    Beautifully said, Ruth, thank you! I used to wish for having this kind of understanding way earlier in my life so I could choose some less challenging paths throughout my life. And now I can finally embrace everything that comes my way because I know experiencing contrast is important to gain more clarity, to mold new solutions and foremost, to learn to focus more deliberately and more often on things to appreciate everywhere I am. 🙂

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